November is a magical month given the brisk and changing weather, the beauty of what is left of the Fall colors, and the warmth of cozy fireplaces. It’s a time when you wrap your hands around a coffee (or hot chocolate) cup and revel in the beauty.
MARINE CORPS BIRTHDAY
For Marines there’s an added element that marks this month as special. The Marine Corps Birthday. It’s a time of recognized accomplishment for any Marine who has ever served. Boot Camp was hard, the young men (and women) who made it though were trained and ready for whatever the ‘Corps’ or life would hand them, especially in desperate or war time situations.
A MILITARY MAN
My Charles was one of these unique military men. He served during the Vietnam Conflict and that era alone, was unique in the way the ‘Conflict’ was viewed. Many disapproved of the war and led protests during this time.
DIFFERING OPINIONS
It became a double edged ‘sword’ if you will. While those fighting intense battles believed in what they were doing—and even acknowledged that their fighting gave those here in the United States that right to disagree—and even protest, there was also confusion, as they tried to understand the mindset.
Adding insult to injury, was when many of those same fighting men came home —and were greeted with verbal, and sometimes even physical hostility and abuse. Many became wounded and scared to their souls as hatred for them ran deep.
SCARS RAN DEEP
The result of everything these soldiers dealt with, not only while fighting for their country, the injuries sustained, but also the coming home hostilities, caused emotional battles, which Charles stated more than once, —-were on some levels, worse than the actual fighting they’d already endured. I wonder if he was the only one who felt this way?
STRUGGLES AND HARDSHIPS
It left families with hardships as they struggled to work through the anxiety of memories, physical and emotional feelings these same men couldn’t control. Many of these once strong and fearless men now felt misunderstood, abandoned by a country they loved, guilty for the comrades they lost, terrorized by the continued sounds of war that riddled their minds, and lost in a world they could no longer even relate to.
Spouses and children lived in a world of ‘walking on eggshells’ always prepared for the next trigger which could be something as inadvertent as a screen door slamming shut, or something on the TV over which they had no control!
They were never quite sure whether to give their loved one space and just go away, or attempt to calm and be conciliatory. The person they knew and loved had gone somewhere they couldn’t understand.
PTSD NOT YET ‘NAMED’
Often, it took years before help was attained. PTSD wasn’t even part of the vocabulary when most of these soldiers came home. Further, the mindset that as ‘Marines’ prevailed: they needed to ‘suck it up’ and stay strong. They were considered the ultimate ‘tough guy.’
VETERAN’S DAY- A FINAL CELEBRATION
Veteran’s Day is celebrated on November 11 while the Marine Corps birthday is November 10, both important dates for my husband.
In a bizarre way two years after the death of my Charles, the dates make me smile; not because he’s gone but because of the ‘Marine Corps’ attitude it carried until he passed.
During the week before he passed, the doctor, with tears flowing, said, “Mr. Harding there is nothing else we can do.”
As my own tears flowed, I asked how long he had. She responded, two or three days.
My Charles did the ‘Marine thing.” He hung on for five days —-long enough to see his final Marine Corps birthday and Veteran’s Day—in typical Charles and Marine Corps style.