Start On The Next One
I’ve been writing for years. I’ve had much devotional material printed, children’s stories, even non-fiction in Ranger Rick, and church curriculum for children and even books. I love the process and found payment was a bonus!
When I finally had my first book published in 2010 (those before were puzzle books) I was elated. I had worked for years on the project and was pleased and relieved the project was finished. I used social networks, had a countdown on face book, sent out little cards and planned book signings. Then there was the release date. I watched online, as the sites that carried the book, posted availability and was delighted it was doing well.
I had one friend however, who kept asking a question I couldn’t answer and wasn’t sure I wanted to! “How’s it doing?” he would ask. “How many have you sold? What are your royalties?” And many other questions along the same vein. I was absolutely interested, don’t misunderstand, but that isn’t why I wrote the book!
Another author shares his story about his efforts of writing a book over a year period, had it published and then nothing happened. His mentor didn’t even seem particularly excited. In fact, his reaction was simply, “Get started on your next one, tomorrow!”
I like his perspective. Sometimes we focus on the revenue, fame, and great reviews, and lose sight of what is important! Every project on which we work must have value, but it’s the next one that drives us on. This isn’t just true for writers; it’s true for any kind of work. It doesn’t matter if you are a bricklayer, Minister or Congressman, or anything in between. The drive to accomplish something positive is the fundamental motivation to keep us to the task.
When we lose the interest or passion for what we are doing, we lose productivity. It takes this ultimate mindset to move forward. Sometimes we lose sight of our goals; life events changing over which we have no control; being asked to compromise our ethics; growing older and retirement or any variety of circumstances that drag us away from what we once thought important.
As our lives change, sometimes our perspective must also change. We have to remember the reason we took the path we chose and then decide if it’s still the right path. If it isn’t and we find ourselves dreading the challenge of the day before us as a chore, then maybe it’s time to take stock. Maybe it’s time to “get started on the next one!”
Nothing stays the same in our world; and today’s world seems even more formidable given the COVID issues, the upcoming election and political arena, climate changes, financial woes and more! Changes occur in our lives sometimes so fast we miss them. I suggest taking a breath and asking yourself some very serious questions. Are you where you want to be? Are your goals still attainable, have you reached them and need to make new ones, or are you needing something completely different?
Once you decide where you want to be, whether it is right where you are or with something new, approach it with excitement, with interest and a passion which fulfills your day. This attitude will aid in making the work you do worthwhile and gives you a reason to continue being productive. Go ahead! Get started on the next one, whether it’s another manuscript, another day at the office, applying mortar to a brick or anything in between!
The Rise And Fall of Civilizations
Over the years our family has traveled across the country. I’m amused at times at how very different geographically defining our culture is. In my area of this vast planet we have a lot of watermen, which has created a distinctive dialect, much like you might find down in the bayous of Louisiana. There are word differences, varying social habits, diverse music, arts and folklore traditions and food distinctions that set areas apart. Add to this, unique accents and we have quite the mix of cultures. People sometimes can actually tell where you are from by the accent you use, or words you say.
Areas in the North ask if they can put your items in a “sack.” Where I come from it’s called a “bag,” and a pop is offered rather than a soda. In another part of the country a grandmother is often known as “Mom Mom” and grandfather as “Pop Pop,” while other areas are Grandma and Grandpa, Mimi and Poppa. Aunt and Uncle are used for respect when talking about close friends and children, or the term “Miss or Mr.” is placed in front of a woman or man’s name.
Some years ago a friend of ours passed away and I made the phone call to another friend down south who had worked with my friend years before. Her husband answered the phone, so I made the polite request, “Could I speak with Miss Janie, please?” I heard the husband as he handed his wife the phone say, “I don’t know who it is, but she called you Miss Janie. It must be someone from Maryland!”
Many cultures have come together in a blend, unique to the area, which creates its peculiar culture. None is better or worse than the other, they just are. It’s what makes our country so interesting! When there is a rich mix of different cultures there is so much to share; so much to learn! The Europeans learned much from the Native Americans. As other cultures blended with these from all over the world, we are enriched as we are influenced by each other’s traditions.
If we have so much to offer each other, why do civilizations rise and then fall? The Mayan culture was rich, yet it went into decline and fell. The Roman empire held great importance, yet it too, failed and fell. It is said civilizations grow and then decline, some more rapidly than others. Sometimes war, drought, economic failure, epidemics, natural disasters, or any combination of these could be the beginning…..of the end for an empire. Sometimes political issues can cause a country to lose its greatness to the point of being regarded with disgust rather than pride.
What about the American empire? We are rich is music, art, cuisine, traditions which have blended together to make a great country. One thing is certain: given the current state of affairs, our world is dramatically changing! Will we also fall? Do you see our country as in decline or moving forward? Are we proud of what our culture stands for? Do those areas where we are rich, negate where we fall short? Are we headed as a country, or people, for collapse?
Adapting To Change
It seems on every turn there is some kind of natural disaster. There are fires, tornados, floods, typhoons, volcanoes, snowstorms, hurricanes and dust storms! (We just endured Hurricane/Tropical Storm Isaishs, here on the East Coast.) People from all walks of life must adapt to their surroundings or allow nature to destroy them. Some people make the choice of relocating after a particular storm destroys their home, while others choose to rebuild deciding “Mother Nature” will not win or drive them away from the place they love or grew up.
Jack London in the story “To Build A Fire,” depicts nature as dangerous and impersonal. Nature is neither beneficial nor vindictive and not even selective to whom the next victims of it’s wrath will be. Those who are not strong, lack natural common sense, or survival or adaptability skills, are those who fail. His story also demonstrates the frailty of life, and the paradox of learning lessons too late, when we miscalculate our instinct or intelligence.
While London’s story was about surviving in nature, it’s also true in relationships. We all have flaws in our character since we are human. These flaws lead us, when we are not prepared, to defeat, in a variety of circumstances, when we allow it.
Our marriages, friendships or even work environment, in order to be successful, take an enormous amount of strength and “stick-it-to-it-ive-ness!” When we choose to not use our common sense or adapt to, and work for, success, we risk failure and even a kind of death. It often takes compromise to make everyone happy. Yet sometimes, even at the risk of death of a relationship, adaptability is not an option, if we are asked to compromise our principles.
When reading the news every day, a person can easily see our world is changing. Depending on perspective, some would say we are advancing while others say we’re being destroyed. Regardless of your view, it’s changing. We now wear masks, are required to stay isolated, unable to gather in many churches for worship, and the list goes on and on, while the political arena is ever changing and the media continually curbs information often so badly, it’s impossible to know truth from fiction.
Our lives are also ever changing. Nothing stays the same. We grow, inherit new ideas, and then form new ones. The result is a new way of doing things. This can be easily illustrated through companies who failed to adapt and adopt new ideas in communication and technology.
One such company, and there are many, is Kodak. This company led the way in photography for years in cameras, film and other picture taking accessories. But when digital communications evolved, Kodak did not choose to incorporate the new ideas into their business. This isn’t to say they weren’t aware of the changes, some even would say they “invented” it. But they were so deep into printing and film making, the ‘powers that be’ felt the incentive wasn’t high enough to push “digital” into the forefront of consumers. They ended in bankruptcy in 2012. Other companies, however, saw the potential and ran with it. Companies like Atari, Xerox, IBM and Blockbuster share similar stories.
When considering human nature and the desire to move forward, yet not wanting to lose traditions; change can be difficult. Life changes in minute ways, and in ‘grand’ ways every day. As our bodies and minds grow and change; the world around us also grows, changes and dies and is reborn! It’s a continual cycle. To survive the changes, we must adapt, even if only microscopically! We have to accept our minds are producing wonderful new thoughts that have the potential to create wonderful new things.
Yet in all things, we must be prepared for those “disasters” in our lives which threaten to overwhelm or destroy us. We must be ready to use our common sense, intellect and natural instincts to get the most out of life and be successful.
How do you feel about adapting to change? Does it come easy, or is it a challenge?
Let’s Make a Trade
There are headlines all around us, warning of an impending economic meltdown! They urge us to “stock pile” food, first and foremost. But as research continues, there are also other items necessary to survival should a disaster occur; and this doesn’t just mean a financial catastrophe, but a tornado, hurricane, earthquake or other type of devastating event.
Of course, we can each go out and buy what we think we will need in the event of an emergency, but everyone has their individual preferences. What do you do if, when the time arrives, you don’t have an item you’d really like to have, or even need? From the early days of settling here, people have used bartering as an option.
Even before settlement began here in the States, it’s safe to say, bartering has been around for centuries; long before cash tendering (or credit cards) were used for everyday purchases. That said, there are historians who will tell you bartering wasn’t used “before” money, but evolved because there were times when people had no money, but still needed goods and services.
In fact, there is a very broad stance taken on this issue, including the idea that currency was created to manipulate people, given the easy manifestation of monetary debt. I’ll let the “historians” fight that one out, but can tell you, from my perspective, bartering is a wonderful system, once there is a “community” which is fairly “like minded!”
The concept is simple. People trade for goods and services rather than tendering cash. If one family has an excess of a good or service, they can use it to “purchase via trade,” for an excess of goods of services from another family.
We have friends who are avid hunters, and are very successful in their attempts. This leaves them with a freezer full of wild game, which cannot all be consumed by one family in a single season. The option: barter---or sell it! Within the “community” however, it suits multiple parties when hard earned cash need not be used when other resources are available.
I love to bake bread, quilt, and am reasonably good in other areas that can be a resource, as well. I have a friend who raises chickens and has goat milk, neither of which I have. What a great resource to be able to trade—for eggs, goat milk and meat! Another friend in this same “community” is a technological whiz, something many people aren’t. His services are a great bartering tool.
This method of paying for goods and services might not suit every family. Sometimes it takes a bit of creativity to even realize an area for bartering, when a person considers themselves just an “average joe, with nothing to give.” That is usually far from the truth. We all excel at something and have something to offer.
While you may not need to ‘barter’ for any of your goods or services at the moment, what if you did? Is there a ‘community’ of people you would want to work with for something like this? What would they likely offer? Do you need to do some research, ‘just in case?’ If you aren’t sure what you could offer in such a circumstance, ask what others might need. In the conversation, you may be delighted, that you have just the perfect answer!
Time To Do What Matters
We’ve been traveling, so when we arrive back to our home, it’s all about unloading, unpacking and getting caught up again! This can be stressful, depending on how long we’ve been gone.
One of the first things I must do is catch up on the mail! While I’m able to keep up with the checkbook and important stuff, because our daughter takes care of the mail as it comes, I’m still required to go through, eliminate that which is no longer necessary, file, and then take care of those things which she is unable to, while we’re away.
Aside from this, there is general cleaning that must be done. Houses do not like being left un-attended! Again, our daughter keeps up with what must be done (she does have her own home and family to care for), but after everything comes in, you have to put it all away, and inevitably there are dust bunnies that have moved in with the occasional cobweb, etc!
What happens however, when a family doesn’t travel? They are in their home most of the time (and with this COVID mess, even more so), and still keeping up, can be problematic! Yet we are often reminded to use our time and talents to the best of our abilities.
How can we do that? Due to the COVID issue, our lives of helping our neighbors, non-profits, and other ways to pay it forward, have decreased. It’s frustrating! Even many our of workplaces have changed; we work from home. Almost everything, at some level, is done via the internet.
Another element of time and talent includes ‘treasure.’ Some people call this our reputation. It’s what we stand for and what we believe, and even how we live our lives. As we reflect on our past, we probably can recall people who have not only lived their lives in ways that influenced ours, but also were deliberate in providing guidance. Some may have helped us unaware; or at least to a point, unaware.
Can you recall a teacher, another person in a different profession, a relative, neighbor or even a stranger who influenced what you believe and how you live your life? Perhaps there was someone that specifically influenced you to follow your chosen career. They shared their ‘treasure’! Is there a way you could pay it forward to someone else?
Granted, given our current ‘isolation-ism,’ it may be a little more challenging, but perhaps you could be creative. Along with ‘mentoring’ someone else, what about thanking someone for their input in your life? Each of these might be initiated by a hand written note (much more thoughtful than just an email), or via a phone call.
Our world has changed. But giving should not change. We are a people who do best when ‘we can give away’ the best of what we’ve gotten! I’m not talking about material goods (although that’s not bad either when we have more than we need!), but giving of ourselves, in whatever way we can. We still need to be good neighbors, with kind hearts. Children still need to see this behavior, so they can grow into ‘giving adults.’ It’s the way we were designed!
Be bold! Reach out with your particular treasure—something you can give away – of yourself--- a smile, kind word, help in a garden, cut a lawn, cook a meal or dessert and leave it for someone who may not have enough. (You may need to make contact with a person if you are leaving food!) Be creative! Take time to do what matters! Impact someone else’s life this week!
When I Grow Up
They say, Out of the mouths of babes! and often it is so true. They have a way of saying the funniest, purest, most innocent words, which leave adults speechless. Their perspective is often just a bit “off kilter” and will occasionally even cause the adult to blush!
I seem to have collected several conversations from little people regarding the idea of “growing up.” One was where a father asks his two daughters what they want to be when they grow up. One immediately answers, “Doctor!” The second daughter says, “A magnet!”
Another conversation includes a situation where Momma was headed out to an elementary school to pick up her first-grade daughter. It was raining, and her four-year- old wanted to take an umbrella, but her momma said she didn’t need one, especially since she wouldn’t be leaving the car anyway. When they arrived at the school, her little daughter witnessing all the teachers outside with umbrellas piped up and said, “When I grow up I want to be a teacher.” And without pause added, “Cause then I can bring an umbrella!”
My oldest son was certain he wanted to work on a farm as a really young person, until he reached his adolescent years and decided he would go into the Marine Corps like his dad. The choice suited him well, and even now, within just moments of conversation, most everyone can tell where his heart is!
I have one daughter who chose nursing, another a business administration major, and yet another works as a receptionist in an office.
My youngest son was only three when he announced he wanted to be a minister. This intention was solid until as a young teenager, he decided he wanted to go into the military, specifically the Marine Corps as did his father and older brother; but as a Chaplain. However, when he learned he would have to go into the Navy, since the Marine Corps doesn’t specifically have their own Chaplains— and uses Navy Chaplains, —he immediately recanted! Knowing the rivalry between the two branches, he figured there would always be some kind of ribbing he’d have to take. Instead of becoming a Chaplain, his path led to computer tech and artist!
What causes us to choose our careers? I remember deciding I would be a teacher in ninth grade and then ended up marrying and having children! It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I decided I wanted to write! You may choose to laugh at me, but part of that dream really hit me when “The Walton’s” was a hit TV show back in the 70’s. I identified with “John Boy.”
When I was in elementary school and even middle school, I remember writing things down and trying to make it work. My skills were obviously not good enough to be identified by any teachers, although I do recall several teachers who did comment positively on my specific writing skills. I can’t help but wonder why it never occurred to me to try writing before I was middle age!
Did you know what you wanted to “be” as a young person? Instead of your “dream”, did circumstances dictate your life’s work? Have you made career changes late in life? Are you still saying “When I grow up I’m…..” Are you following your dream?
Moved To Tears
It doesn’t seem to take much to make me cry: a sad movie, a tender commercial, a good romance story, bad news from a friend or family member, a tragedy on the news, weddings or funerals. As my daughter, who also cries easily says, “God gave me really good tear ducts. I use them well!”
It seems odd, even to me, that on a moment’s notice, watching a thirty second commercial, I can be overwhelmed to tears. Music and even prayer, can also, arouse such intensity, I am overcome with emotion, and find myself crying. TV shows that involve children, especially in harms way, will cause tears that last long after the show is over. I can’t seem to get it out of my mind, and tears well up all over again!
Humans are said to be the only beings on earth who cry for emotional reasons. I read once if a person is moved to tears, then an emotion has been touched. If that is in a story, it means the author has done his job well! (I’d like to think one day the words I have penned would cause such emotion to the reader.)
There are reasons for tears, however. Have you ever noticed a tired baby cries? Studies have shown this same phenomenon applies to adults. The study suggests the reason we easily cry at a commercial is, we are tired. (I’m not sure about that one!)
Most men will quickly tell you, crying is for women. A lot of little boys are told “it’s sissy to cry” and many men believe crying is proof of weakness. I disagree. I believe rather than a display of weakness, it’s a demonstration of strength. Apparently, however, we women are built to cry more, because we have an extra X chromosome.
Additionally, we, as humans, live very complicated, busy lives. Stress factors in crying ability. When my stress level is high, I am quicker to cry than at other times. When I’m feeling overwhelmed in a negative kind of way, I seem to be more easily offended, even when it wasn’t meant that way, causing me to, again, cry.
I’ve heard people say, when dealing with an unpleasant experience, “Don’t you dare start crying, cause you’ll get me started again!” I’ve been there and that indeed happens. My daughter calls my little granddaughters, “sympathy criers.” When one is in trouble or hurting, the other one will cry with her. In fact, when my daughter took her six-month-old son in for scheduled shots, he received three and never even cried for the first two. He just looked at his momma, with a questioning look of, “Really?” His five-year-old sister on the other hand, who witnessed the infliction of needles, started crying as soon as she saw the evil instrument in the nurse’s hand.
Depression is yet another reason humans cry and rides with our emotions being on that higher level, mentioned earlier. When we are sad, and mood down, and sometimes even feeling numb, due to circumstances over which we have no control, we are filled with despair. Although temporary, crying seems to soothe the soul, even if it doesn’t solve the problem.
I am grateful for the “gift of tears.” It’s a genuine way to express feelings, even if we don’t always “feel in control” when it happens, as we express sadness, joy, tenderness or pain. One thing is certain; emotions have just been touched!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/25/why-youre-crying_n_5499558.html
Photo credit: https://www.gettyimages.com/photos/tissue-box?
It's Been A Bad Day
With all the isolation, stay at home mandates, lack of physical contact (I happen to love hugs!) and social distancing, there are days when many of us just want to scream from the sheer crazy way it’s made our days. --- Even though they’ve been way more predictable since, we seem to be doing the same things over and over again, rather than running around, going places, eating out, sporting events, concerts and just spending time with friends and family who don’t necessarily live in the confines of our homes.
I remember some years back, one of my daughters was having what she dubbed, “a bad day.” One morning she was running late, finally headed to work and on the way reached up to fix her rear view mirror. While adjusting it, the thing came off in her hand. Before she got out of town, a mere two miles, her car was running warm.
Before she reached her destination, she got caught in construction and the temperature light came on in her car, so she had to turn the heat on with the fan, so it would cool. This was significant since it was warm and humid outside! After she got to work one of her co-workers looked at her and told her, her hair looked especially nice. She replied, “It’s my late, heater on, window open, wind-blown look!”
I loved her response! Regardless of what we are dealing with, how we respond to a situation often dictates how we view our world in general! Now I admit, I am ready to be done this whole “isolation” thing. I’m ready for life to get back to normal—even knowing our ‘new normal’ won’t be what we were living two months ago. It’ll be regained in stages, and that’s assuming we really will get back to where we were. There is plenty of speculation about that!
But when we view our lives with a narrow, dim, dark view, it colors everything we do with clouds, grayness and even darkness. When we can see the ‘silver lining’ it tends to allow light in, even if it isn’t shining brightly!
I’ve been told I have a ‘Polly Anna attitude.’ When that statement was made in a college classroom discussion, I was stricken, even though I owned it—to a degree. I admitted that perhaps I did look at the world as an optimist. I’d rather have joy and happiness in my life, instead of demons and ugliness trouncing on me!
As a woman, I tend to be emotional, so I can, when upset, just want to cry. If I can turn the tables on my negative emotions, I’m there! If that means looking for the good in all things and/or all people, so be it! I admit, there are days when circumstance and even people make that perspective challenging, but it’s always worth the effort! Is it always accurate? Probably not, but it takes the edge off, a would be, dark and dreadful feeling of bleakness and desolation.
Am I being over dramatic? Some might shout out, YES! And again, that may be true, but for me, it’s such a much better option! How about you? How do you tend to view the world? Is it a sad, deplorable, ‘got ‘cha,’ kind of place? Or do you, like me, look for the silver lining, even when it’s a very dim light?
Life Always Changes
We hear it a lot right now. Life just isn’t what it used to be. We are facing unprecedented times. We have a tiny germ that has upended our lives, throwing us into a lockdown that leaves us frustrated, isolated and in some cases very lonely, even with the availability of social media most of us have.
Life changes all the time. The weather changes every day. Some days it’s beautifully sunny with temperature in the seventies, other times it’s cool and rainy, even snow falls in some areas despite the date on the calendar, which apparently hasn’t gotten the memo that it’s Spring!
Along with the changes in the weather, friends have a way of coming and going. Not including the whole lockdown component, friends come into our lives sometimes for a day, other times for just a fleeting moment, but more often for a season. We nurture the time spent with those we call friends, as forever bonds are shaped, so that regardless of time spent apart, the relationship never varies.
Relationships come and go, as well. As we are growing, we find someone to be close to and for reasons as many as a person can count, it doesn’t work for a lifetime. Other bonds are made, altered and changed until finally we find the love of our life that endures for our remaining years. Yet even within the realm of marriage, the relationship changes as we each grow and responsibilities change, and children join the equation.
Even our various forms of work come and go. We take on a job early in our teens to pay for gas to operate our cars and pay for insurance, while we’re still trying to decide what we want as a career. We may or may not like where we are, and change jobs, sometimes many times before we become comfortable day after day in our work. Our careers then take over and we are engaged in whatever form of business we’ve chosen and often hang in there until retirement. Yet even here, changes aren’t uncommon.
What’s really amazing, however, is when we find our passion. This may or not be related to our career. Many have ‘working business’ careers but are passionate about fireworks, camping, hiking or quilting or even reading. This is our ‘happy place.’ This is where we are able to relax and enjoy the doing as well as, the final result.
The best scenario in all this is when our employment intersects with our passion. I’m fortunate in that writing enables me to meld my passion into one. I have become passionate about writing words that make a difference. This is where I can do what I believe is my ‘mission in life,’ if you will. It’s more than a job. It’s …..my passion! This can never be taken away.
People can ‘lose’ their passion when they don’t feed and nurture it, just like anything else. They lose the value of themselves, however, when that happens. And it reflects how they view life. We all need a purpose; and we all have one.
Life always changes, but a true passion that is ‘fed and watered”--- believed in --- can become the stabilizing tether to life when otherwise we lose who we are meant to be.
Language Is Power
It all begins with an idea.
I’ve heard the expression “knowledge is power.” Honestly, I agree. When you know the facts about something, whether it’s from experience or diligent study, you are able to have intelligent conversation or work in a given field of expertise. People graduate from college and do this all the time.
It’s more than just having knowledge, however. Language is also power. A person may not have been educated at a top college, in a given subject area, but certainly have experiences that lends itself to having intelligent conversation on many subjects, even if they aren’t an expert!
Take for instance, the platform of a political figure. While a person may not know all the details about what a person stands for, he may still know enough to have conversation. Therein, even if his perception is skewed, he can still intelligently converse with another and perhaps through conversation, be convinced his perspective isn’t accurate and there is nothing wrong with that! Or conversely, his opinion may change the perspective of another!
We all have something to share, and truths are discovered through the unique quality of humans, called language. Words have a lasting impact. That’s been proven over and over again. Even in the realm of abuse, there are those who would say emotional abuse—words spoken to bring pain through humiliation, degradation, shame, etc., have the power to destroy a life forever! Words are as powerful as drugs on a person’s spirit!
In conversation, it’s what each person brings to the table that forms thoughts, opinions and understanding. It by no means suggests you can positively convince someone of something they choose not to believe, but persuasion is a form of power given us when we use it correctly. Discussion is where awareness grows, and an opportunity to view something differently is encouraged.
Our society has become one where discussion, especially with opposing views is shied away from, in fear of offending our listener. But you never know when your words are going to make a difference. I understand this from firsthand experience. I’m a writer and words are important to me. I pen them using my faith, experience, background, education, etc. But when I write something, I’m never sure who will read it, and how they will interpret it.
Most of the time my words are not taken with offense. Occasionally, however, I will rustle the feathers of others. That has happened several times. No offense was intended, but the reader absolutely didn’t agree with my perspective and was terribly unkind when telling me so.
Recently I posted a another blog. A friend used my words to begin a post of her own. I was humbled that someone would do this. It’s encouraging and is indicative of just how important that what you say should be truth!
To repeat gossip is also powerful and I never want to do that. Notice I said ‘want.’ I try to be very deliberate about that, but in the privacy of my home, I wonder if sometimes I repeat something I shouldn’t. Words are powerful; and our language enables that power. It’s something that must be respected whether you are a family member, neighbor, journalist, politician or preacher. We are accountable for what comes out of our mouths! What we say does make a difference!
Finance, Life and Ketchup
It all begins with an idea.
I read an article on finance lessons from eating ketchup. While I’m not going to use the finance side of it, I’d like to parallel those comments to lessons on life. The first lesson focused on having a 'sweet spot.’
Ketchup is sweet. I read another article that says about half of the bottle of ketchup is sugar! That made me rethink how much ketchup I use! The article suggested sticking to our ‘financial sweet spot’ if that works for us, as long as, we are meeting our financial goals.
When we use this same advice for our lives, we often live our lives in our comfort zone--our 'sweet spot.' We get in a rut and sometimes become afraid of coming out of our cozy place. We don’t learn anything new, or challenge ourselves to be better because it’s easier to stay where we are. We don’t want to ‘put ourselves out there’ because we are afraid of failure, or sometimes even of success!
The second thing the author of the ketchup article suggested financially, was to keep your finances simple. I think this is amazing advice and not only from a financial perspective. Keeping our lives simple is also a good idea. We get so caught up in all our ‘to-do’s’ we can barely breathe! We are so busy doing things, we are unable to even enjoy today.
And certainly, the idea of minimizing our ‘stuff’ has been heralded as a must do! We’ve become a people of accumulating as many material possessions as possible. In fact, people work two jobs just to be able to afford the lifestyle they believe they must have, which in part includes living in the nicest and most expensive house on the block, driving the newest car currently available, wearing only brand name clothes and even visiting restaurants regularly even though it’s been shown time and again, eating in (at home) is not only cheaper, but healthier. (That’s not to suggest a night out occasionally isn’t a wonderful thing- because it absolutely is!)
The last thing the article suggested was not taking everyone’s advice when it comes to your finances! Let’s face it, everyone has an opinion about nearly everything—and sometimes even things they know nothing about! This is also true of our lives.
Our world is filled with those who feel educated enough about their given field, that they feel compelled to give you information and advice, as the best to follow. And what they share may be true---or not. Each of us live lives unique from everyone else from the sheer perspective of personalities, finances, upbringing, views on life and raising children, and yes, even religion and politics.
Our differences are what makes our world interesting and worth working through --and in! The ideas we share with each other is what we build on. Not everyone, all the time can possibly have all the answers. We aren’t supposed to. We are a people who need to work together to be strong, and continue to grow. Ideas breed ideas. And that’s a good thing!
Do you have a 'sweet spot' you might like to challenge? Do you keep your life simple? Do you take everyone's advice as truth without doing your own 'homework?' Each of these offers it's own challenges and I encourage you to reflect on your own opinions about each of these elements! Share if you'd care to, about your conclusions!
https://drbreatheeasyfinance.com/financial-lessons-from-eating-ketchup/
This Is Now
It all begins with an idea.
The phrase, “today is here and now” which I heard recently, kind of struck me! While that sounds a little simplistic and obvious, I can't help but think of the recent events that have changed our lives forever. There have been fires ravaging across the globe, deadly monsoons wreaked havoc in India, and other areas of the world just last year and now locust swarms three times the size of New York City are devouring East Africa, among other “natural disasters!”
I remember last year, as I watched the hurricanes here in the United States, days before they hit land, feeling uneasy. But our “new normal” is an ‘uneasy’ I never expected! It has us in a place we’ve never been before. Whenever there were fires, storms, blizzards or other natural disasters, we knew they were destructive and stole lives. But we are facing a tiny germ we can’t even see, -- know that it’s out there, and can’t run. In fact, we are told the best option is to ‘shelter-in-place.’
As I reflect on my anxiety, no matter what the disaster, I am reminded that regardless of my emotions, there is not a single thing I can do about it! (Short of doing my part by observing social distancing!) I need to leave the results in a Power much higher than mine. As we face these new uncertain times, this is truth, regardless of our faith.
I learned a neighbor of one of my daughters who lives out west, committed suicide this past week. No one can know all the reasons for such a dramatic and unchangeable action, but it’s the sign of the times. People are afraid; they don’t want to suffer from some invisible germ, or deal with the economic burst, also going on around us. Yet, not one of us is promised a single breath past our last one.
The point is, must live for today--- like it could be our last one. This is now...this is the moment we must embrace, focus on, and take the effort to move forward, even as we wait. Worrying about tomorrow and over things we have no control is a futile attempt at being in control, that will always fail us.
We can hold onto our memories and even have dreams and goals to work toward. But we do not own those moments. When we rely on our memories, regardless how cherished, to move forward, we will find we are destroying the progress of today. This is our moment---our gift, if you will. This is now, our current center and the place we must choose to move from, ---forward – if we plan on living life to the fullest, and in the way, our Creator intended.
I encourage you to reach way down within you, dig out the remains of your faith, and be thankful for wherever you are and whatever blessings you can see--- and perhaps, even in your sadness, frustration and fear, those blessings that seem to be alluding you. Good is all around and often more so when we are at our worst, in our distress. It’s what we do.
Will our broken (and very ill) world see an immediate fix? Likely no, but with a positive attitude and belief in all that is good, we can change our moments so "now" is manageable regardless the situation.
Time To Do What Matters
It all begins with an idea.
A friend of mine has said more than once, she doesn’t feel like she matters; that she’s around to make sure domestic duties are done, meals prepared and to “fetch and serve.” What a sad state! How does a person deal with being nothing short of a “maid” in a relationship? There are those who would say, “Leave! Yesterday!” And I suppose that’s an easy choice for some. For others, there is a duty to staying, that unless you’re in their shoes, it’s impossible to understand.
When pressing for more depth into my friend’s emotions, she said, “I want to be appreciated, to be supported and know that he [her husband] has my back.”
I watched a movie not long ago, a love story of course; and there was a line in it about two people who leaned on each other regardless of the circumstances so neither one would fall. What creates this kind of relationship? Love certainly, but “time.” It takes time to know the other person; their likes and dislikes; their favorite color and flower; their philosophy on life; and what they expect or want from someone else, and life itself.
Time. We all have the same amount of minutes in every day. But it’s how we spend that time that makes the difference. Our culture is engrossed in all things technological and digital! We spend so much time on social media, checking our phone (glued to our hands) or our computers that even when we are working, we stop and check to see if there was an email, twitter or snapchat comment we missed! We even have to check to see what the latest news headline is, so we can have something to chat about at the water cooler!
Is this how we were designed? Technology is wonderful, but it has captured our identities! It has stolen the people we were meant to be! We now struggle with spending time one on one with another human being, whether it be someone from the workplace, our children and even our spouses!
Time. That single word has so many implications within a relationship. An older couple I once knew made the comment they could be in the same room for hours and never say a word to each other and they were comfortable with that. This didn’t include while watching TV or being on social media. They were each comfortable reading a book—or the newspaper, sewing, writing a letter or other personal interests that passed the time. This is a ‘comfortable relationship!’
Recently my husband and I went into town. The sun was shining, and the temperature warm. Trees are budding, grass is turning green and at one point I even smelled the scent of a fresh mowed lawn. I was totally enjoying it. And I enjoyed the silence we shared. It was amazing.
Still, there are times when we must say what must be said, or pursue what must be chased! Moments are precious! That’s especially obvious in our changing world with the ‘germ’ that is stealing our loved ones. They are our treasure! Not a single person alive knows when they will breathe their last.
I encourage you during these difficult times, to use your ‘time’ wisely. Spend moments with those closest to you, even though we are experiencing ‘social distancing.’ Death knows no gender, age, class or ethnic origin. It steals without concern for those it hurts. Spend precious moments in whatever way you can (and still remain safe) with those you love.