Different By Design
I often giggle when someone gives me a hug and immediately says, “You’re so little!” It’s not because I’ve fought so hard to be this size, I just am. I had a professor once say to me, “You’re the kind of woman other women love to hate!” I didn’t choose my size, God made me this way! I don’t look at myself as any different than anyone else, it’s just always been.
We live in a world that seems to value conformity and sameness over differences. Being different sets a person apart and often comes with a negative sense of stigmatism. While I laugh at my ‘difference’ within the scope of things, many do not, because it causes them pain due to being ostracized, misunderstood, bullied, called names, or a host of other unpleasant circumstances which cut to the core of who they are.
Statistics show that about 26% of people in the United States have some form of disability. There are, generally speaking, four disability categories: physical, intellectual, sensory and mental illness. Within these confines the range can be long and wide.
People often struggle with how to address those who have a disability, and ultimately it comes across as condescending or in some way negative; as if to say, ‘You’re not good enough.’ Or ‘I am better than you.’ Because of this, there has been great discussion over the years about the power of words and ways to negate this type of verbiage.
The key component to talking to or about a person with a disability is to remember 'people first'. Obviously, when possible, use the individual’s name. A person wants to be identified as a person before being identified as someone disabled!
Who they are as a person is so much more important, and has much greater value than any disability that makes them in any way different than the social ‘norms’. They are just that perhaps: different. But the disability is secondary to who they are!
One person suggested that as an individual, think about all ways and things in which you excel. You may be a great runner, hiker, biker, mountain climber or stair climber, or good at splitting logs. There’s a long list many of us can accomplish, and this is just a minute few! (On this list I can do one: climb a flight of stairs!)
But the other side of the coin, is to consider those things where you may struggle. It might be balancing your check book, or creating a map, or floor plans of a house, being a science tech or engineer, a computer tech, or playing any kind of sports! Your strengths are in other things! (On this list I can only balance my checkbook!)
When you look at your list on both sides, you see great differences and that’s as it should be. No one is good at everything! The same holds true with a person who has a disability. They may not be able to walk —even on flat ground, much less climb a mountain, but they may excel at running a business in the finance department, or creating shopping mall plans or working as an engineer, or playing a musical instrument!
The list is as long as you can imagine. Because they don’t excel in one area, doesn’t make them any less a person, any more than it does someone who is not disabled! On both sides, their strengths and weaknesses are just different! And that’s okay! That’s how we are designed!
We are all ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’ (Ps. 139:14). We are different because our differences make us unique and even special; and we each have a purpose! When we focus on all the good things we can do and in areas where we excel, every single person has something to offer.
We each have strengths and weaknesses. This means we need each other. We are made to build each other up. When we do this, we become a well-rounded community of people. Again, no one person can do it all, and that too, is by design!